In this blog:
What is the vulnerable child mode
Why it's important to know which schemas activate the vulnerable child mode
Shaping limited reparenting to meet the needs of the vulnerable child
Top tips for identify schemas
The vulnerable child mode holds the feelings, thoughts and physical sensations the individual experienced when their psychological needs were not met as a child. For example, as an adult, someone may connect deeply with their abandoned child mode when a friend forgets to turn up to a lunch date. Their feelings of sadness and fear of being alone are more intense than would be expected for the situation because a network of experiences of being abandoned as a child get activated too.
When in the vulnerable child mode, the individual may appear and feel as though they are much younger than their actual age. They may struggle to access their usual coping strategies and problem solving skills as their healthy adult mode is inaccessible. Clients often share with me how overwhelming and confusing it is when they experience this rush of feelings and physical sensations.
Why do we need to understand the schemas?
When you connect with the emotions and vulnerability of the child mode, the emotionally corrective experiences you provide help in the journey to heal your client’s schemas. For example, in imagery rescripting, if the child is feeling alone and abandoned, the therapist can join the image and reassure the child that they are right there with them and they are not alone anymore.
It is a common mistake to see limited reparenting as a general technique to validate and nurture the vulnerable child. However, to provide the most healing and corrective intervention, the therapist needs to understand which schema has triggered the distress of the vulnerable child mode. By tuning in and responding to the schema or schemas that are activating the vulnerable child mode, limited reparenting will have a much greater impact.
Fine Tuning Limited Reparenting
To help you shape your limited reparenting to the needs of the vulnerable child, I have listed the 18 schemas in their domains (Jeff Young et al., 2003) and provided ideas of how limited reparenting might look for each schema.
The schemas in the disconnection and rejection domain are focused on attachment difficulties - where individuals have not experienced stable, safe, nurturing and loving attachment relationships. As a consequence, limited reparenting for these schemas focuses on developing a good attachment between the client and therapist.
The impaired autonomy and performance domain describes the struggles someone might have when separating from their family and functioning independently. Limited reparenting for this domain of schemas focuses on identity development and mastery.
The third domain, impaired limits, describes difficulties respecting others and self regulating. Limited reparenting involves putting in place boundaries, especially within relationships, and encouraging frustration tolerance to reach goals.
Other directedness is the fourth domain. These schemas describe a coping style whereby individuals focus on meeting the needs of others over their own. Limited reparenting for this domain encourages the client to focus on their own needs and set limits with others.
The final domain, overvigilance & inhibition, describes individuals who suppress their feelings and impulses. Strict rules are prioritised over happiness, relaxation, relationships and good health. Limited reparenting of this domain focuses on emotional expression, gratitude, warmth and joy.
If you would like a pdf copy of these tables, download it here:
Top tips for identifying schemas
If you are not sure how to identify the schemas activating the vulnerable child mode, try these tools:
To bring this all together, healing takes place when the therapist connects with the vulnerable child mode and provides a reparative emotional experience. Interventions are reparative when they are in tune with the schema and so as therapists we need to shape our responses to meet the unmet needs that led to the schema development. I’ve given you some ideas about how to shape your limited reparenting according to different schemas – tune into those schemas and supercharge your limited reparenting!
Reference: Young et al., 2003, Schema Therapy: A Practitioner's Guide.
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I love your handouts - this looks awesome! thank you!