Is this a mode you think your clients might be struggling with? In this blog I will help you to understand what this mode looks like and how it can hold your clients back. I’ll describe some of the ways in which it might activate your schemas as a therapist and finish off with cognitive and experiential exercises to help your clients move forwards.
The Perfectionist Overcontroller Mode
The perfectionist overcontroller mode is described as an overcompensation coping mode, which means that it acts in a way for the individual to feel the opposite of the schema that is triggered. It’s a mode that wants to reduce uncertainty and stop things from going wrong. To do this the perfectionist overcontroller takes control of a situation and works to get things ‘just right’. The standards set are unrelenting. It attempts to provide guidance, predictability and security by living by rigid rules. The perfectionist overcontroller mode is commonly seen in anxiety focused difficulties, eating disorders and obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
The perfectionist overcontroller mode can be very functional: it gets tasks done and it does a very competent job. It might make someone very good at their job, evoking praise from others. It’s a mode that keeps someone in their comfort zone – if I follow the rules and get everything right, I’ll be okay, no matter what the personal costs.
This is a mode that thinks feelings and relationship are overrated and messy. Emotional needs are not a concern and the mode would like to think they don’t exist at all. It works relentlessly to achieve perfection with anything that can be controlled and spends an exhausting amount of time trying to think through choices and plans to account for every possible risk.
Downsides of the Perfectionist Overcontroller Mode
· Emotional needs are disregarded
· Real, authentic connections are not possible
· Brings exhaustion as productivity and perfection are prioritised
· Rigid and rational approach to getting everything right
· Unrealistic expectations for achievements
Challenges Working with this Mode
Working with the perfectionist overcontroller mode can be challenging. This mode can be schema activating for therapists as it may lead the individual to question if the therapy approach is the right approach and always be on the search for a better solution. This can make it hard for the therapist to feel confident to lead the way, as the mode maybe undermining.
This mode can be very focused on how to get therapy right which can stifle the emotional experience of imagery and chair work. For example, getting caught up in whether they have chosen the right memory for imagery rescripting or suppressing messy emotions.
The perfectionist overcontroller mode might be hard to spot as it can seem functional at first. The individual will often want to spend more time in this mode and they may feel very resistant and sceptical about how it would benefit them to use this mode less and feel their emotions more. This is a mode that therapists often have, which can also make it harder to spot as the therapist might struggle to work out what is a reasonable amount of attention to pay a particular task.
Why Give Up the Perfectionist Overcontroller?
The conceptualisation for each individual will determine how the perfectionistic overcontroller mode is preventing needs from being met. It is important for the therapist to be really clear about how this mode links to the problems that the individual is bringing to therapy and to help the individual to understanding this link as well, as motivation to drop this mode can be low.
Jack is burnt out because he doesn’t know what is a good enough standard for his work and therefore works excessively. His drive for perfection keeps him from connecting to his vulnerable child fear of being defective due to criticism received from his father as a child.
Marie has a list of rules to prevent her from being rejected that she learned in her abusive relationship with her mother. She follows the rules in her current life such as always being early, focusing the attention on the other person, not complaining, ensuring she is not a burden and not asking for anything. Marie is exhausted by trying to follow all the rules and she feels very distressed and self critical when she makes a mistake fearing that she will be rejected.
Interventions for the Perfectionist Overcontroller Mode
Cognitive interventions will keep individuals with a perfectionist overcontroller mode in their comfort zone, so they should be used sparingly. However, in the early phase of therapy, cognitive interventions can be helpful to raise awareness of the mode and ink the consequences of the mode to the problems bringing the individual to therapy.
After defining the perfectionist overcontroller with your client, conduct a cost-benefits analysis of using this mode to highlight the negative impact on their life and consider the costs and benefits of adopting a more balanced approach.
Imagery for assessment and subsequently imagery rescripting can be used to help individuals with a perfectionist overcontroller mode to connect to the emotions of the vulnerable child mode. Imagery is likely to be more stilted and appear less emotional because the perfectionist overcontroller can stifle emotions. Keep building on the individual’s capacity to connect with their emotional experience by persisting and gently challenging avoidance and control of the exercise.
Aim for Imagery Work
Understand that the perfectionist overcontroller mode has developed in response to challenging experiences as a child – look out for a demanding critical adult.
Connect to the emotional experience of the child and learn to soothe the child leading to confidence in handling messy emotions.
Put boundaries in place with the demanding critic and bring attention to other important areas of life other than productivity including connections.
Chairwork can be used to build the motivation and skills of the healthy adult, encouraging less reliance on the perfectionist overcontroller mode. In this exercise, set out three chairs. In the first chair encourage the individual to express their concerns about letting go of the perfectionist overcontroller mode. In the second chair, help them to connect with the experience of the vulnerable child and express their emotional needs, for example, “I feel lonely and I need an intimate connection”. In the third chair (or standing up looking at the two previous chairs) connect with the healthy adult and make a plan for moving forwards.
Behavioural change is the focus of the final stage of schema therapy. These changes are only possible when the healthy adult is strong enough. The focus of behavioural change when working with the perfectionist overcontroller is how to get emotional needs met. Limits can be set for the mode with the focus on soothing the fears of the vulnerable child that occur as a result.
If you work with someone with a perfectionist overcontroller mode these are the key points to remember:
This is a mode that can present as very functional. There is likely to be a lot of resistance letting go of this mode that helps to keep individuals in their comfort zone by feeling they have control of emotionally difficult situations.
The mode is exhausting for the individual and can prevent emotional intimacy.
The messages and actions of this mode can make it challenging for therapists to lead the way as the mode may doubt the intervention and stifle emotional work.
Develop a clear conceptualisation for you and your client to understand how the mode leads to the problems they bring to therapy.
Keep cognitive tasks to a minimum as these are in the comfort of the perfectionist overcontroller mode. Building emotional connection in experiential exercises takes time and encouragement.
Would you like to learn more about schema therapy? Join my certification programme here